I need to experience the universe again.

I’m not sure if I feel anything.

I panic at the point of it all.

The certainty of death.

I ponder the meaning and meaninglessness of each day. 

My head is filled with black coffee.

I want to add that splash of cream.

A moment of richness.

I can see it.

Ribbons of white, rolling satin which appear to move in slow motion through the darkness.

I little thing that cannot be undone.

A drug experience.

A horror.

I want to be left feeling different.   

Looking different.

Being different.